In a Past Life I Was a Magpie

It is a little known fact that I love all shiny things. So much so that I will purposely not listen to you if you are wearing something shiny or sparkling. I will lose 30 minutes of an exam for staring at anything shiny I may have accidently worn or can see in the room. But most disturbingly - if left to my own devices-  I will wear everything and anything shiny that I may have in my possession all at once. This is an affliction not to be taken lightly and to a certain degree it consumes my very being. For example, you may have a ring on your finger, just the one, that you have on everyday. Because  of the many shiny things I have purchased in my time, one is never enough. My entire hand, each finger, is weighted down by many shinys and as many as I can fit. Then there is necklaces, bracelets, headbands, hairclips, makeup, clothes, purses, watches and shoes. By the time I am done I am a disco ball of some description and not only not able to move due to being too heavy I distract myself too much to drive. Then there is the issue of having to work when wearing something shiny. When restrained from the shiny things there is the ongoing danger of shop windows and shiny things. I am almost automatically relieved of any money I may have which is another issue entirely because some money is actually shiny therefore difficult to part with. In conclusion, this is the sole reason that I am late, have little or no money and dress poorly.